Category Archives: Toys
My little brother is anything but. Shopping for the Hulk.
I was chatting with my little brother the other day about what he would like for Christmas and what he planned on getting the rest of the family. My family is an interesting bunch. We’re all very close, but we’re also, in our own rights, extremely difficult to shop for. My mom buys anything she wants, as does my older brother, and Lord knows my little sister doesn’t need another toy. My dad is complacent with what he already has, and my little brother doesn’t really lead on as to what he would like. That was until our recent conversation to which I already referred. When I asked him, flat out, what he’d like, he responded with minimal hesitation: Hulk Hands. Done. He will undoubtedly read this, utterly ruining the surprise come Christmas morning, but that’s okay. At least I know he’ll be pumped.
Him wanting Hulk Hands, though, is very apropos, as they are the last things he actually needs. When I call him my “little” brother, I have to clarify said moniker with the fact that he is anything but. The kid is a 6’2″, 210lbs wall of muscle, cut from wood, and strong as an ox. His hands, compared to mine, already are hulkish. Adding to his already stunning physique would be like putting a lift kit on Gravedigger. If a sudden influx of funds comes my way between now and the First Noel, I would rather see him opening my gift and tearing the Muhammad Ali robe from the box, but we will have to see how I am doing financially first. If I had my way really, I would just go with both gifts. Hulk Hands and an Ali robe. Messin’ up any sucka that steps to him…though, as a seasoned and wicked awesome lacrosse player, he is already more than capable of doing just that. Float like a butterfly, etc., etc.
- Will
Veritas et Aequitas: Reenacting Boondock Saints via action figures while awaiting the sequel.
Sequels, much like follow-up albums, walk a very fine line of having the ability to enhance the original installment, or completely ruin the franchise all together. For instance, 28 Days later was great. The sequel, 28 Weeks Later? Eh, not so good. I always think about The Postal Service and them not releasing a second record, save for a few remixes, b-sides, etc. That one album they did was perfect cover to cover. Releasing another attempt could have ruined the band’s reputation. I was afraid of this happening, too, to Vampire Weekend. However, upon hearing their new single, I have put those fears to rest. I can’t say the same for Boondock Saints, however.
I’ve seen the trailer (below) for the what-I-thought-was-a-joke titled, All Saint’s Day, and I’ve gotta say, I have been more stoked for other movies but am willing to give this a chance. At least they got the original brothers, right? Plus, the film reminds me of my own brother, and being the nostalgic type I am, seeing it with him would be in my best interest.
- Will
I'll admit it: I'm a little lonely. Time for that dog.
If I don’t pull the damn trigger on getting a dog soon, I fear it will never happen. I’ve bookmarked three Denver-area adoption sites and scan the pages everyday. The canine du jour is Bela (pictured). She’s been on the site for quite some time so your guess is as good as mine as to whether or not she’s still there. I had plans to go to the shelter tomorrow, but I think I will wait for the Whole Foods Adoption Event on Sept. 27 so I can play with the pups first.
I just can’t wait for night walks, playing in the park, 4 Ball Launchers (fetching is a prereq), waking up to licks and cold noses, feeding him/her table scraps, using it to meet women (FTW), and all the other canine/human bonding activities I’ve so sorely missed since I had to have my black lab live at my folks house.
You know what, even? When I do get this dog, I am going to need to rename it. That said, throw some names this way via comments. If I choose yours, I will reward you properly. For serious.
- Will (@MomentumFailure)
My Condo: Where a Kid can be a Kid. Especially when I add Slot Car racing.
I got a call from my older brother last night. I haven’t talked to him in quite sometime as he’s been on holiday with his ladyfriend, touring the likes of Louisville, KY and Dayton, OH. As non-exciting as both those places sound, he ensured me he had a blast. And after being regaled in detail about his trip, I concurred that it sounded like a hell of a time. He asked me, then, what I had been up to, and aside from the normal work schedule and blog maintenance, there was nothing that new to report.
I told him about those Simpsons energy drinks I stumbled upon. Then I told him my ideas for Fast and Furious-themed energy drinks, and he fired a barrage of names back at me. Trans-Mission Fluid. Brian Spilner’s Oil Spill. Jessie’s Juice. Charger Recharge. And the list went on. Then, out of nowhere, he gets the idea for a Fast & Furious Drinking Game night. Ketel and Nos being the choice beverage. So I am going to watch the movie again and figure out when we need to drink.
Also, and this is pretty exciting, I have the 1954 Fast and the Furious coming to me tomorrow via NetFlix. Alternate watching this and trying to find the F&F Slot Car racing set for less than $226, and you can call me a happy camper. It should be noted, too, that with the 1954 version, Confessions of a Shopaholic will also be stuffed into my mailbox tomorrow. If it weren’t so par for the course I play, I would be slightly embarrassed. But, no, I’m on the edge of my seat for that flick as well.
- Will (@MomentumFailure)
What happens when you mistype Nooka on Amazon. Nookii – The Adult Board Game.
I want to say that when I accidentally typed in ‘Nooki’ when I meant to key ‘Nooka’ last night, I was flabbergasted at the search results. But I’m not going to. Why? Because I found Nookii through this accidental mishap of fortunate yields. I was merely looking to give Nooka another try and thought I’d try my luck on Amazon to see what sort of deals they had in the marketplace section. I didn’t get that far, as you can tell. I did get envious, though, of my friends with significant others.
Ah, Will, don’t you worry, young stallion. For someday a young lass will grace your life with beauty, poise, companionship, love, and splendor…and with all this, she will undoubtedly wanna get freaky. How can she resist when the “Aah” card tells her to do so? You show me a woman who says no to instructions from a board game, and I will show you what must be some sort of android…or cyborg…or something. Psh.
- Will (@MomentumFailure)
To be a kid again. Toys of Christmas and Breakfast for Dinner.
Remember being a kid and how exciting Christmas morning was? The space below the pine tree exploding with huge gift-wrapped boxes most likely containing toys with the exception of the few disappointing “lighter” boxes from Aunts and Uncles you knew were sweaters or socks…Man, that used to be my favorite thing in the world. Ripping open present after present, playing with whatever toy was inside for the few seconds before it was time to tear open another gift…Ah, even talking about it takes me back to being a young’n. Nerf guns, remote control cars, and weird gadgets, I got them all.
Looking back, I don’t know what my folks were thinking entrusting me with such items. They would break, usually due to poor use on my part, within a month or two. But for those weeks following the Yule, I was the happiest boy in the world. This epitomizes youth in my mind. Well, Christmas morning and breakfast for dinner. That was always exciting. “Holy moly! We’re not having spaghetti??? Yeah, I will take some more bacon and waffles! Thanks, Dad. This is amazing.”
As I grew from a young lad to a pull-fledged adult (physically, but by no means mentally), the novelty of breakfast in the PM wore off when I realized that I could do it anytime and vice versa. If I want Thai leftovers at 7am, I will gladly enjoy Basil Chicken while watching the sunrise. Mid-morning stomach ache, FTW.
- Will (@MomentumFailure)
Defining "Full Circle" – The Gossip Girl board game.
Friday nights are usually spent at my place. Whether it be sipping bubbly and online shopping while Gossip Girl blares in the background or having a group over to partake in the once-cleverly-named-now-notsomuch act of Floorplay, a good time is had by all that attend either festivity. But has it come full circle with the Gossip Girl board game? Is this my own sort of pinnacle of existence? It’s like world’s colliding actually. The two events on Fridays (either G. Girl or Floorplay) have completely different vibes. Where Gossip Girl night is usually just Amanda and me, a larger group is invited for floorplay. But…..now what do I do? I could make Chuck references all night, but no one will really get them.
I foresee many a blank stares from Floorplay attendees when I utter such statements as, “Good Lord Chuck’s hair is beyond amazing.” Or, “I can’t believe Jenny used to look so innocent. She’s all whored-out now….” Ya know, though? It’s just a risk I will have to take. It’s not as though I’ve been secretive re: my love of the Gossip Girl. I openly admit to watching and rewatching all the OC episodes just in case I missed one of Seth’s quips or Ryan’s fights. People may not get it, but now they’ll have to learn. Or not come. And then they’re missing out…
- Will (@MomentumFailure)
Kubrick is all over the place. Kiss? Check. Guns N' Roses? I'm hoping…
I was up at 2 AM last night unable to sleep and finding myself watching a marathon of Comedy Central roasts. That Pamela Anderson one is rather funny, save for the drunken antics of the now-irrelevant Courtney Love. Even I didn’t think that was funny, and I laughed for a good five minutes at the Jack Links commercial I saw. Surprisingly though, Tommy Lee was somewhat amusing. Granted the whole night was schlong/sex-tape jokes, Mr. Lee covered some new humor that I found semi-funny. Heh, “semi.” I started thinking about aging rockers and their sordid pasts. Like Marky Mark in Rockstar. Or the tales from the Def Lep/Motley Crue hair bands and realizing how much tail they pulled in the day. That got me to wondering if Kiss, a band known for absolute debauchery in their heyday, would still have their aging fans lusting on their upcoming tour….which, FTL, is skipping Denver. While I pondered, I must have fallen asleep. Because the next thing I knew, I was passed out on my couch while a lawnmower infomercial blasted from the TV set…Ah, memories.
- Will (@MomentumFailure)
Hold A, Then Push Start. [Iceblox @ThinkGeek]
Technically, you hold the tray and turn the faucet on to fill with water. Once you have Tetris’d the tray with water, put it in the freezer to unlock Level Cold Drink. You already know what I would recommend you use these amazing pieces of food art to chill, but I have been told it works with non-alcoholic beverages as well. (I can neither confirm or deny the previous statement because it’s just not as much fun to eat Tetris out of a Diet Coke.)
I’m sure there’s some licensing issue that prevents these from being called Tetris Cubes, or Tetricubes, or TetrICE, but I don’t care. This tray makes Tetris a drinking game and you don’t even have to buy (more accurately, find the proper connectors for) a Nintendo. Plus, the tray is flexible food grade silicone and the blocks are easy to remove. It’s almost as easy to buy @ThinkGeek.
Toys and Charity. Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate. Harmony via Automoblox.
It could be because I know someone with autism and oftentimes do research on the odd affliction. It could be because I scan the health news on the daily for hours on end. Or it could be because I love toys. I don’t know. And frankly, I don’t give a damn. It’s been way too long of day to delve into the science behind why I am digging on the wooden cars from Automoblox and how cool what they are doing with the May Institute and the National Autism Center. Even though these lil cars are upwards of $50, it seems like a good cause. And what are you, too good for the cause? Didn’t NOFX have a song called The Cause? I’m gonna go listen to it.
*Editor’s Note: Just found the song. It’s The Quass. Not The Cause. Good catch.
Floorplay Madness: Brewopoly
So I gotta text from my friend last night expressing interest in another Floorplay night (board games and booze at my place). It got me thinking that, yes, indeed, it has been too long since I hosted the event. And we are all in need of another go at it. I’ve been scouting new games to play, Brewopoly ($25) among them. Even though I’m not an avid beer man and Chardonnayopoly would better suite my interests, a beer-boardgame with beer spilled on it would be so literal.
The Delete Grenade
I’ve got a candy dish on my desk at work that I recently stocked full of Reese’s Peanut Cups and ever since, more and more people have come to me conveniently with all sorts of needs. Before I put the candy out, not a lot of visitors graced my office. Methinks there’s a connection here. Son of a gun. I should hide them, maybe invest in the Delete Grenade ($25), for a few days/weeks and see how the foot traffic is impacted. It would save me some money when it comes to having ro buy more stock. Or maybe I’m just that popular around the office. Now, which color? Continue reading
Motorized Ice Cream Cone
When i was younger and I would get sick, my mom would always bring me flat soda and hot soup. I got to spend the day in my parents’ bed watching TV. Usually, by the end of the day I was well enough for a bowl of ice cream, which I devoured like I hadn’t eaten anything in years. I haven’t had ice cream in years now that I think about it. Maybe I will get an Ice Cream Cone (a Motorized One ($10) maybe???) to relive the old days today.
JOHN CONNOR KUBRICK & T-600 BE@RBRICK SET
I keep toys on my desk at work. A few Kid Robot smorkers and a Beantown Toys bean. And though I have yet to see the new Terminator flick, I think the John Connor & T-600 Bearbrick set ($50) would make a good addition to the vinyl friends already adorning the desktop. A few folks in the office love to chat movies, so I would make more friends maybe too. Win-win.

